The Journey to Love and Good Health

This isn’t your normal love book. It’ was written as a perspective on how to understand and heal love and your body

Words of Wisdom

The Dream


This has been said again and again, down through the ages. All the religious people have been saying this: “We come alone into this world, we go alone.” All togetherness is illusionary. The very idea of togetherness arises because we are alone, and the aloneness hurts. We want to drown our aloneness in relationship . . . 

That’s why we become so much involved in love. Try to see the point. Ordinarily you think you have fallen in love  with a woman or a man because she is beautiful, he is beautiful. That is not the truth. The truth is just the opposite: you have fallen in love because you cannot be alone. You were going to fall. You were going to avoid yourself somehow or other. 

And there are people who don’t fall in love with women or men – then they fall in love with money. They start moving into money or into a power trip, they become politicians. That too is avoiding your aloneness. If you watch man, if you watch yourself deeply, you will be surprised – all your activities can be reduced to one single source. The source is that you are afraid of your aloneness. Everything else is just an excuse. The real cause is that you find yourself very alone.  Osho

Chapter 5

The Inquiry


Thinking about Osho’s Dream, and all my flimsy the excuses, he’s right: it all boils down to loneliness.

I never liked being alone. And the change always begins with questioning your life. You must ask, “Is this what I want?”

There is a huge gap between love and loneliness. Many blues songs wailed on about this. The fulfillment of emotional erotic love comes from mutual desire, not the need to fill the void of loneliness.

Either likes attract; a lonely needy person meets a lonely needy person, and it will never work, or your gut knows better. The mind doesn’t understand the gut. The mind wants to be fulfilled, a quick solution, whereas the gut says don’t go there: this isn’t love and it isn’t for you. Walk away.

How do we walk away from being lonely? Well, you know the answer. You need to walk towards something positive, something that is more in the direction of true love, than in the direction of self-destruction. Searching for inner happiness is the first step in finding Self Love. 

The search begin with Self Inquiry. We should start by asking the questions we need to ask, in order to stop being stuck in our poor me unhappy shit box; our self-destructive looping melodrama. Poor me. Poor old lonely me.

Defending any aspect of our unhappiness is a no-win exercise in pointless power tripping. For instance, I was continually unhappy regarding my relationship, or lack of relationship, with women. Why? Power tripping is always a push/pull entanglement. Come here. Go away. I wanted women to come to me, but when they did or do, in one way or another I would say, “Go away.”

Take responsibility.

Such a sweet innocent man. It appeared. Or was the truth that I created my own loneliness prison. Of course that is the last thing I would call myself. But, as they say, “the proof is in the pudding.”

When it came to the simple act of asking a woman out, I was as fussy as the new age woman I accused of b I got way too fussy. I was no different than all the pretty young omen who didn’t want me because I was an old man, even in my 40’s.

My God! Life is an incredibly complicated onion. There are so many layers to peel before we get to the truth. How are we ever going to find happiness while busy peeling?

Self inquiry opened me to a challenging “me being totally honest with myself” point of view. If I so dared.

When you get down to it, I am, men are, emotional beings; possibly more emotional than women. I’m exceptionally emotional; hyper sensitive. Whenever I’m with a woman, me being me, saying either silly or wise things, I can never understand how any of it could possibly be interpreted as the opposite of love. When my words, their meanings, are twisted, forcing me to explain myself, my less than gentlemanly motives, or whatever, it would throw me for a loop. “What? No! That’s not what I meant.” In my mind, my only motive always is, always was, to love and be loved in return. 

Maybe they thought my “love” was bullshit with a smiley face?

Well . . . sometimes it was, I have to admit.

But I’m not alone with this story, you know. Women have their own version of this; being lonely and confused about love. A woman intuitively wants what the Divine Feminine deserves. If the man only knew that, then he would treat her like a goddess. At least that’s the ideal. A man shouldn’t be confused about that. Unless she’s the Alpha Dog, wanting him to be her puppy. That’s where it gets complicated.

But not if you love yourself enough to be either the Alpha Dog or the Puppy. Self Love comes with a sense of humor, which foregoes the over-sensitive seriousness of it all, over-riding so much of the unhappiness and dis-ease in the world today.

While presenting Self Love, it’s important to remember the Golden Rule – treating others as you wish to be treated. I learned too late in life that if a man constantly and consistently adores and cherishes his woman, she in return will honor and respect him. When these two things break down, the relationship is lost. 

In all of this, the prevailing non-truth word is “victim.” The only way to experience the true reality of life on earth, is to be a risk taker. Knowing of the dangers at the start of an adventure, an explorer takes responsibility. He is not the victim of whatever waits around the bend.

If we’re not willing to face the dangers of life head on, then what we confront is confusion. Situation that don’t seem to work for us cause stress, and we become victims of the circumstances.

The unknown “out there” scares us. But in the truth of our inquiry, we’ll soon find out that all the shit out there, the external factors bombarding us, only effects our Not Self. All that is not love penetrates through our masks, exposing layers of lies and programmed nonsense. The truth brings up “all that isn’t good or true,” as fodder for our consideration.

Most people play ignorant to the myriad of forces out to get them, because they want their life to be safe and predictable. A sort of Groundhog Day mentality. Each day pretty much the same as the last. They know that the world out there is a very confusing place, and would rather not challenge it. 

Because once you open pandora’s box, there is so much to consider. For a programmed zombie, it’s all too much to consider. Better to get lost in the nonsense, like sports, TV shows and what brand of underwear to buy. 

On the other end, when we are strong enough to challenge the status-quo, and stable in our Self Love, many or all of these emotional traps no longer come up for consideration. Confident in our personal power we can say, “That shit is not mine,” or “That shit doesn’t make me happy. Fuck it.” And then dismiss it. Move on. This is not a statement of denial. The truth is, the shit that I’m not buying really isn’t mine. Maybe it’s yours, but it is as sure as hell is not mine.

In 1980 I became the student and friend of a very powerful Druid Priestess. She was an amazing psychic, astrologer and Tarot reader, with a brilliant mind. She also weighed well over 250 pounds. As a working empath, she was taking on her clients emotions, and confusion. One freezing Alaska night, stuck like a whale in bed with all her fat, in her little trailer in my back yard, she couldn’t roll over, or move her arms, or go to the main house to pee. She gave up and decided to die. Calling for us, she made the declaration. But her gypsy husband and I weren’t going for it. “The ground is frozen. There’s no fucking way we’re digging a hole to bury your fat carcass.” This pissed her off, and sent her into a cursing tirade. This was when she realized that most of her fat wasn’t hers. She needed to heal herself.

She got up the next morning with a new mantra, “It’s not mine,” and went out and got a job as a massage therapist. Somehow her arms miraculously healed overnight, and now were strong. As the months and years went on, whenever I had an issue she would say, “It’s not mine, I’ve given you the tools to deal with it, so deal with it yourself.” That year, it seemed like over-night, she lost over 100 pounds, and kept it off for the next 35 years until she died, always reciting her mantra, “It’s not mine,” when any drama was presented to her. At the same time, her love for me and people who came to see her never wavered. She loved herself, and demanded that you love yourself too. 

Once we become firm in the truth that “I deserve love,” and that anything coming at me that doesn’t feel like love, isn’t love. It’s not real, is not mine; it is an illusion, maybe a test, and yet still an illusion; still not love. 

When I get this down pat, then I will be free to truly be who I really am. A fucking Awesome unique God Man!! 

And you a Goddess. Yeah!

Let us begin with this in mind, as we muster up the courage to change.