Ugh – Ceramic art by Dakan
The Highway Shaman Wisdom
for September 17, 2020
A Course in Miracles: I am never upset for the reason I think.
Also: It is never about the other person.
I realize today that I’m angry. This is an emotion I’ve always been in denial about; denial of anger turned me into a “nice guy.” Spiritual adherents don’t allow themselves to be angry, and if you do, then you’re less evolved, or something along those lines. Weenies allow themselves to be victims. Down the line. I’m angry at CNA, the opposing Insurance company, who said I basically that I’m lying, my doctors are lying and I didn’t have a brain injury and will settle for $20,000, which means in reality, after expenses, I would get $0.00. Nothing.
My attorney is apparently a nice guy, possibly a weenie, which makes me angry. He makes me not to want to be like him. I had seen six doctors who all diagnosed me to have anywhere from a concussion to a traumatic brain injury (TBI). After we were offered $20,000 to settle, my attorney caved and apparently forgot why we demanded $750,000 in the first place. He became the nice guy (to their demand), alluding to the idea that maybe it will end up that I get nothing. Maybe it makes me angry for all the times I was the nice guy, like him, displaying no balls. Donald Trump – now that guy has balls. He stands up to all the hatred and opposition and says NO – this is what I want and I’m going to get it. Saying in other words, “Fuck with me and I’ll shut you down!”
The insurance company CNA fucked with me and my attorney. They deserve to be shut down, at least pay a fair settlement, and for us to not cower to them, Paul implying maybe they are right when they aren’t right at all.
Part of my anger and depression of late is that I want a Warrior as my advocate, not a wimp. It’s never about the other person says that I’m the wimp. I don’t want to be a wimp or be agreeing with wimps. I want to come into my own as a warrior.
What is going on with CNA is the same distortion of truth that’s perpetuated by big corps and Deep State, flexing their micro-dics w money and assumed power. A very distinguished Chinese woman, Phd. and Doctor of Virology, known and published in the best medical journals, has now come forward saying that she worked at Wuhan labs in the creation of Covid19 as a Chinese bioweapon, let loose upon the world. Now CNN and other mainstream news report that it’s a lie and she’s just making it up. Why would she put her life in danger if it wasn’t the truth?
But then Tucker Carlson said, here is one of the top virologist in the world making a scholarly qualified first-hand medical statement – and all these reporters who know nothing about medicine are calling it a lie. The infantile reaction is that Covid19 being manufactured in a lab doesn’t fit their bat shit narrative.
This is the same injustice I feel with CNA where six highly qualified Doctors gave a Medical opinion (re. my brain injury) that I did have a brain injury, and “not doctors/insurance experts” say my doctors are lying. How would it serve them to lie? My getting a brain injury without blood and a totaled car doesn’t fit these “experts” narrative.
A bright Attorney, a warrior fighting for what is right and just, one who could see through this blatant bs Insurance injustice, might just class action sue the Insurance company CNA, and ten others, for $100 million, for their history of discrimination of the elderly. I think we could find 80 seniors in the USA who were totally fucked over by Insurance Companies, because of prejudice not consistent with fact. The Insurance companies can tell lies and make up shit because they have enough money behind them to get away with it. Someone needs to finally stand up and sue their asses. It could be me.
Now here is my Osho Zen Card about all this, a random pick as always: Apparently I was on the other side, created injustice and took advantage of people in a former life, and now its happening to me.
The Reading
PAST LIVES (The Moon) – The child can become conscious only if in the past life he has meditated enough, has created enough meditative energy to fight with the darkness that death brings. One simply is lost in an oblivion and then suddenly finds a new womb and forgets completely about the old body. This is a discontinuity. This darkness, this unconsciousness creates the discontinuity. The East has been working hard to penetrate these barriers. And ten thousand years’ work has not been in vain. Everybody can penetrate to the past life or many past lives. But for that you have to go deeper into your meditation, for two reasons: unless you go deeper, you cannot find the door to another life; secondly, you have to be deeper in meditation because, if you find the door of another life, a flood of events will come into the mind. It is hard enough even to carry one life.
“A glimpse into the eternity of our existence is a gift, and understanding the function of karma is our lives is not something that can be grasped at will. This is a wake-up call, the events in your life are trying to show you a pattern as ancient as the journey of your own soul.”