July 14, 2023

“A lot of people have asked your question, Benny. (What is real?) It’s probably the oldest question in the book, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t special to you. Everyone is trapped in their own special bubble of delusion, and it’s every person’s task in life to break free. Books can help. We can make the past into the present, take you back in time and help you remember. We can show you things, shift your realities and widen your world, but the work of waking up is up to you.” 

 

So, the words: “Ï can show you things, shift your realities and widen your world,” is my story. And I have no control over waking anyone up. That’s not my job, unless asked. Ànd I have spent my lifetime “waking up,” “widening my world.” Even though it’s not my job to attempt to (ego) wake anyone up, I have often wished my brothers and sisters would want to know me, to hear the story of how I’ve been able to break free from the delusions; the mind controls. I have come to accept that if others were able to sit calmly and really listen to the wisdom I’ve compiled from my over 55 years of deep research of the world of multiple dimensions of realities, 3D, 4D and 5D travels; outrageous things I have no doubt to be true, it would blow their minds. I will answer the question, no more than that.

 

(What is real?)

 

I’ve been contemplating this question my whole life, and have written many essays about it, and will attempt to condense it here. 

It begins with an important truth: we “create our reality.” We make up what we want to be real, and what we don’t want to be real. For instance – many were trapped in their father’s contrived authoritarian prison for 18 years, forced into obedience in his delusional bubble, up until the day you decided to get the hell away from that madness. Your freedom began the day when you, by your own will power, chose to leave – to head out on your own and create your own life real/ity: a reality which you can, should, sit back and marvel at today.  Good for you!

My evolved differently than anyone in my family, because I chose to live a David’s real life where, with my own tenacious and brave will power, my over and over and over again fearlessness, I’ve created my very own new and different realities, one after the other, for the past 56 years. Unlike my four brother’s – I’ve never stayed with one woman. My seven years with Sara seems like an unreal dream. I’ve never kept a job or home for more than three years. I’m a lone wolf, always leaving the small herd, packing up and moving on; from here and there. As an adult I’ve lived in Alaska, Nevada, Washington, California, Hawaii, Thailand and now Mexico. In the past twenty years, I’ve entered many “alternate realities.” And created homes in Oregon, Montana and Japan, in the fictional novels I’ve written. 

I’d like to pause and consider the five Fictional Novels I wrote, completed, beginning to end, plus my five semi-completed novels, and what it took to write each one. (not counting my 7 non-fiction books) Starting with nothing but a vague idea, I developed ten different interesting, believable, story plots, and then spent weeks, months, my seven years in Thailand, writing the stories, editing each one over and over, line by line, from the beginning to the end. 4000 original pages! While receiving very little, to almost none, recognition or praise. Hardly anyone has read even one word of those 4000 pages. I guess it’s okay for me to tell you, tell at least one person, in one paragraph, how I dedicated thousands of hours, years of my life painstakingly capturing and recording my visions in print. Not an easy thing to do – or apparently not easy for my family to hear what I actually accomplished.

 

I remember when I was at that very sweet secluded beach lodge in Thailand, a wonderful memory, totally dedicated to developing the Lucky Two Crows story; the 400+ pages about an American Indian Detective, who goes on an adventure to solve a murder mystery. In order to write that adventure with a compelling sense of reality, Lucky had to become my alter-ego. I was Lucky Two Crows. I had to take on his persona, as well as all the characters. (again not easy to do) 

 

In my personal David life – I, of course, want everything to work out. So, in that aIter-ego Lucky life, I wrote the story based on my dream – where I (as Lucky) have an amazing romance with a beautiful woman, while solving the mystery (of life). Writing that story was a vicarious wish for that to happen in my real life; wishing I would be the living character in an equally wonderful David’s love-life adventure story, with a happy Ending.    Delusional?

 

Not really. Maybe aIter-egoing is what any good storyteller is required to do.

 

Yes, as an author . . . “We can show you things, shift your realities and widen your world, but the work of waking up is up to you.”  And I say this – the work of setting the stage for the reader to wake up into the story – begins with the author waking up first. Yes, this has been my mission for the past twenty years as a writer – to wake myself up. For me to wake up, I MUST dive deep into the multi-layered alternate realities of the subject matter.

 

The day I sat down to begin writing the Twins Of Kashal story in 2002, I suddenly imagined 16yo Hawaiian Twins being sent through multi-dimensions of reality in search of their mother. The plot idea just came to me, but then how could I possibly write a reasonably believable compelling story – if I knew nothing about multi-dimensions of reality? How could I – “We can show you things, shift your realities and widen your world,” if I don’t know how to shift realities myself? This opened me to a new chapter in my very profound spiritual journey. And you may wonder, how could my continuing deep study and research of shifting alternative realities and dimensions not significantly add to my exceptional knowledge of this subject today, twenty years later?

 

From what I’ve learned, as an artist, a writer, a Spiritual Man, researcher, free range thinker, is that I can make up any story I choose. With the Lucky Two Crows Blackfeet Mystery, I could have written Lucky to be a charming psychopath, who seduces and manipulates the beautiful woman character, to get close to, be trusted by, her wealthy father. And then I could have Lucky breaking her heart, murdering him, stealing the man’s fortune, and fleeing to the Bahamas. Pina Coladas. Babes. The end. But I can’t write shit like that. My mind isn’t darkly twisted like Stephen King. As a must relate alter-ego author, I would never write something that didn’t “show you things, shift your realities and widen your world.” I can’t imagine or consider writing a novel that’s nothing but entertaining stupid bullshit. My stories must be a good realistic enjoyable-to-read tale, with a happy ending.

 

I’m happy with Tashi Jones. Another alter-ego.

I totally understand “talking to the book.” I have this overriding knowing that I’m not really the author – that my stories had already been written before I began writing them. That in some sort of unknown to me alternate reality, one day I began a conversation with – how can I say it? – the invisible real author; a spirit, a discarnate vibrational energy? – whispering to me to write an already written story. What? I was asked to relax and let the story naturally flow into my consciousness, to simply ingest it – and while assuming the role of author – I needed to hone my unique ability to capture an out in space story. I had to be okay with making countless listening mistakes, learning to filter through the multitude of images and words that entered my mind, and to edit what my mind was saying over and over again: to put together a well written composition for humans to read. Again – overwhelming – it was not an easy task. Especially doing it all alone.

 

Is what I just wrote, not exactly being mine, downloaded into me, so far fetched? Many authors will say that the story “just flowed through me.”

 

And again – in my struggles to be a good author/recorder, I learned that I can’t be “in the flow” of what comes into my consciousness, unless I mentally comprehend, understand, what I’m writing about. For me, the task of writing the Twins journey through multi-dimensions of reality only began when I understood the concept of multi-dimensions. 

 

So the question is important . . . 

 

What is Fiction? 

 

I’ve concluded that Fiction is really nothing more than a reporter tapping into an energetic field of seeing/remembering; being given permission to record the events of a story he or she can’t prove ever happened in this reality. In other words, Fiction is the recording of a dream. Posing the question, are dreams real?

 

What is Non-Fiction? 

 

Non-Fiction is really nothing more than arranging bits and pieces of historical recordings of what we’re taught to THINK actually happened in real life. Did it?

 

Let’s consider that the (non-fiction) past is nothing but a dream? No longer real, if it ever was. Who can prove that this is not the same as the future?

 

My Nonfictional thoughts and ideas may or may not be any different than my Fictional thoughts and ideas. I am free to dream up either one, to change or rearrange the story lines and motivations of any real or made-up characters. I question what seems to be an unspoken law – that Fiction writers are not allowed to change or rearrange the accepted reality of a real non-fictional character. (Unless they’re writing about Donald Trump).

 

I say this in respect to my God Conscious realization: We, none of us, no matter how intelligent, have the right – have enough information – about another human being – to judge them. This is because to judge them, we would need to know Everything about that person in this and every other lifetime. That includes everything about all their past lives, each and everything they’ve done from their first birth until now, throughout all eternity. What human is this All-Knowing?

 

We may conclude that the only way to be an All-knowing man or woman is as a character in a Fictional story, since as humans we’re taught we don’t, and never will, possess any of the omni God-like attributes. What about in our dreams? Are we not allowed to play out God-like expressions, abilities and attributes in our dreams? Who doesn’t allow this? I would argue that dreams are nothing more than an alternate expression of who we truly are. If I am free to dream, why not picture myself as a God in my dreams? That’s more exciting than picturing myself as a poor man suffering.

 

Back to my family, the Allison’s – in my mind, I had to rearrange the bits and pieces of my life-long bad story about my father Bill. I recently wrote, was he the Villain or the Hero, of my not so clear, possibly distorted childhood memory? Was my evaluation of him delusional?

 

I had invested over 70 years of my life believing, writing it as my 100% true story, that this man Bill was an unemotional, child abusing Villain. My judgments wouldn’t allow him to be anything resembling a very loving father, who in a previous life had coddled, spoiled, thus weakening his children. What if Bill really was reborn as a Master, who had learned the lesson of the Universal Law – that parents are only allowed Dominion over their children until age 18? What if he returned having learned from his previous life that the coddling and spoiling of his children had backfired, that he had only succeeded in raising lifelong energy sucking dependent weaklings? So let’s imagine he pledged that in this life he would be a Strong Warrior, a soldier, who would harshly discipline his seven children, so not one of them would ever be weak. And for him to agree to let go of all dominion, all control over them once they turned 18. David and Jerry’s story. And then imagine if Bill acted in any other way. If he had coddled you, Jerry, you would have still comfortably lived at home past age 20, and then you never would have met Cecille. Hero or Villain?

 

If I’m allowed to write about anything, and I am, is writing stories about my or your wondrous God attributes, either from dreams or living miracles, considered fiction or nonfiction?

 

I’m free to contemplate stories about you, Jerry Allison. Whether or not I choose to write these stories down, I am free to dream about you, to think of you as I may, am I not? Am I not allowed to have my invisible author showing up in my mind, telling me stories about Jerry’s past life? I consider that if I were to tell them to you, maybe you’d be convinced that I’m a nut case, just making shit up, that it’s total fiction. Maybe, or maybe you would take into account that I, as a Shaman, can and am having a vision, worth telling, of one of your past lives. Regardless, I’ll go on. I’ll tell a story of a time, around two hundred years ago, in a remote Mexican village, when you possessed the blessed attributes of a very wise and honored Sage, a most highly respected elder; the source of miracles, wisdom and comfort to the people in your village. And that your Sage wisdom was seen and accepted by all villagers as a “Divine Calling,” therefore you were a Holy Man they were obliged to care for. You were never allowed to work at a villagers job, or to be a normal man, married with children – something your heart had always secretly yearned for. Your only job was to bless, heal, love and console your people. 

It’s normal to dismiss this vision, probably only because your mind won’t believe it or allow you to remember any of your past lives. But what if it is true? What if you decided that in your next life – this one – you would not be a traditional Holy Man. That in this life you would be a normal (holy) man, with a good respectful life-long job, making beautiful gardens. And a wife – a fifty-plus year marriage with a loving woman, a lovely daughter and grandson, both who totally adore you? And what If you’re now playing out that other life’s fantasy dream, which at that time seemed to be ridiculous and totally unattainable? Can you accept that you’re now the living embodiment of a dream that has come true?

 

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